Where is cosmo kramer

George Costanza : How good of a look did you get? Jerry : What do you mean? George Costanza : Say she was a criminal and you had to describe her to the police Jerry : They'd pick her up in about ten minutes. Frank Costanza : Many Christmas' ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon, I realized there had to be another way. Cosmo Kramer : What happened to the doll? Frank Costanza : It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born.

Jerry : [Kramer enters] Hey, Jughead. Cosmo Kramer : Hi, Archie. Cosmo Kramer : Veronica. Cosmo Kramer : Mr. Cosmo Kramer : Yo Yo Ma. Jerry : Oh, this is interesting Jerry : Jane's topless. Cosmo Kramer : Yo yo ma. Jerry : Boutros Boutros Ghali Elaine : Nice rack.

Cosmo Kramer : You got room for the pig-man? George Costanza : The pig-man can take the bus. Cosmo Kramer : You know, if the pig-man had a car, he'd give you a ride. George Costanza : How do you know?

What if Pigman had a two-seater? Cosmo Kramer : Be realistic George. Cosmo Kramer : I'm at the corner of 1st and 1st How can the same street intersect with itself? It must be at the nexus of the universe. Jerry : Oh, come on, just tell me your code already. What is it? George Costanza : I am not giving you my code. Cosmo Kramer : I'll bet I can guess it. George Costanza : Pssh. Cosmo Kramer : Oh, alright.

Uh, let's see. Um, well, we can throw out birthdays immediately. That's too obvious. And no numbers for you, you're a word man. Alright, let's go deeper. Uh, what kind of man are you?

Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptations, but what tempts you? George Costanza : Huh? Cosmo Kramer : You're a portly fellow, a bit long in the waistband. So what's your pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No no no no no, yours is a sweet tooth. George Costanza : Get out of here.

Cosmo Kramer : Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master, the cocoa bean. George Costanza : I'm leaving. Cosmo Kramer : [building up steam as George bolts for the door] No, and only the purest syrup nectar can satisfy you! George Costanza : I gotta go. Cosmo Kramer : If you could you'd guzzle it by the gallon! George Costanza : Shut up! Jerry : Why did you have to open your big mouth?

Cosmo Kramer : What? Jerry : George doesn't need to hear that his girlfriend looks like me. Neither do I, for that matter. First the Sally Weaver thing, now this. Cosmo Kramer : You're just mad because you're having a bad day. Jerry : Yes. Because of you. Cosmo Kramer : Well, in that case I think one of us should leave. Jerry : Hey, Kramer, you want to go down to the Bronx and help me take flyers off George's car?

Cosmo Kramer : [without hesitating] Sure. Jerry : Could've said just about anything, couldn't I? Cosmo Kramer : Just tell him you don't want to do the bootleg. I'm sure he'll understand. Jerry : People with guns don't understand. That's why they get guns.

Too many misunderstandings. Cosmo Kramer : You ever dream in 3-D? Security guard : Can I help you? Jerry : Kramer, I can't do that.

It's illegal. Cosmo Kramer : It's not illegal. Jerry : It's against the law. Cosmo Kramer : Well, yeah Cosmo Kramer : She's dating him again? Jerry : She's batted around and she's back at the top of the order. Jerry : [Kramer has just returned from baseball fantasy camp] I thought you weren't coming back till Monday. Cosmo Kramer : Well, the camp ended a few days early. Jerry : Why? Cosmo Kramer : Well, there was an incident. Jerry : What happened? Cosmo Kramer : I punched Mickey Mantle in the mouth.

Cosmo Kramer : God Cosmo Kramer : What're you starting with me for? You know this is my crazy time of year. Jerry : It's your third day. Cosmo Kramer : I gotta go to work. We'll talk about this later. Jerry : [Leaning out the door] Well, call if you're gonna be late. Cosmo Kramer : Hoochie Mama. Jerry : Boy, you sure do have a lot of friends, how come I never see any of these people?

Cosmo Kramer : They want to know how come they never see you. Cosmo Kramer : I thought you said she stinks. Jerry : She does stink. And she should quit. But I don't want it to be because of me.

It should be the traditional route: years of rejections and failures until she's spit out the bottom of the porn industry. Cosmo Kramer : Hey, boys. Here you go. It's celebration time. George Costanza : Why? Cosmo Kramer : You remember that coffee table book I wrote? Cosmo Kramer : Well, the company sold the movie rights to it. George Costanza : How are they going to make that book into a movie?

Cosmo Kramer : You remember that toy ray gun book? Jerry : Oh. So, how much are they paying you? Jerry : That's funny. Cosmo Kramer : I'm officially retired. Jerry : From what? Jerry : Well, I cashed the checks, the checks bounced, and now my Nana's missing.

Cosmo Kramer : Well don't look at me. Jerry : It's your fault. Cosmo Kramer : My fault? Your Nana is missing because she's been passing those bum checks all over town and she finally pissed off the wrong people. Cosmo Kramer : [toasting] Here's to feeling good all the time. Cosmo Kramer : Well, I've got gonorrhea. Elaine : That seems about right.

Jerry : It's from all that smoke. You've experienced a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours. What did you expect? Cosmo Kramer : Well, emphazema, birth defects, cancer Jerry, my face is my livelihood, my allure Everything I have I owe to this face. Jerry : And your teeth Cosmo Kramer : Look away. I'm hideous. Jerry : She has never been with a man in her entire life.

Cosmo Kramer I'm Kramer. Cosmo Kramer : Say you got a big job interview, and you're a little nervous. Well, throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret. Cosmo Kramer : I got news for you: handicapped people, they don't even want to park there! They wanna be treated just like anybody else!

That's why, those spaces are always empty. George Costanza : He's right! It's the same thing with the feminists. You know, they want everything to be equal But when the check comes, where are they? Elaine : What does that mean? Director voice. Dick Williams. Show all 11 episodes. Ronnie uncredited. Arnie Plimpton. Sneaky Pete. Special Agent Dupre. Eddie Gordon. Bill Wolf. Wyler, I Presume Eugene Sleighbough. King Geoffrey. Herndon P. Show all 59 episodes.

Hide Show Writer 2 credits. Fridays TV Series writer - 2 episodes, clip writer - 1 episode, - Episode 3. Hide Show Producer 1 credit. Hide Show Soundtrack 1 credit. Hide Show Self 70 credits. Dick Corcoran. Show all 46 episodes. Video short documentary Self.

Self - Guest. Kramer: Kenny to Cosmo Video documentary short Self. Before his role as Seinfeld's perpetually scheming best friend, Alexander nabbed notable roles as Phillip Stuckey in the film "Pretty Woman" and Hugo in the Disney-animated feature "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" He also voiced the lead character in "Duckman" and won an Emmy for his guest appearance on "Dream On.

His first project after the show ended was the ABC sitcom "Bob Patterson" which only aired five episodes. Prior to winning audiences over for her portrayal of Seinfeld's ex-turned-buddy, Louis-Dreyfus spent three seasons as a cast member on NBC's iconic sketch-comedy series " Saturday Night Live.

Louis-Dreyfus has convincingly broken what came to be known as the " Seinfeld curse " since the sitcom ended. That role earned her a record-setting six consecutive Emmys. She also voiced characters in the animated films "A Bug's Life" , "Planes" , and "Onward" He also worked as a private investigator in New York for five years. Stiller gained a new following late in his career as George Costanza's long-suffering father and proponent of Festivus , an anti- Christmas celebration.

But his late-career resurgence came after years as one half of the comedy duo Stiller and Meara with his wife of over 60 years, Anne Meara. Stiller also teamed up with his son, Ben Stiller, in multiple films including "Zoolander" , "The Heartbreak Kid" , and "Zoolander 2" In , Ben Stiller confirmed in an emotional tweet that his father died of natural causes at the age of Harris provided the voice of Mrs.

She had a recurring role on Disney Channel's " The Suite Life of Zack and Cody " and has made several guest appearances on television since "Seinfeld" wrapped. Before playing the founder of the J. Newman, as you can imagine, is a fan.

Nazi leader George Costanza — what will his parents think? But you know what? George has told a lot of lies — a lot of lies — throughout Seinfeld , but his pretending to be a marine biologist to impress a former classmate-cum-love-interest is one of his greatest and most flimsy.

And yet, he almost pulls it off. More physical-comedy genius from Richards, too, as he shakes sand out of his pockets following a disastrous golfing day at the beach. Also: George in a toupee. The people who run the Roasters restaurant chain liked this episode so much that they actually held a Seinfeld -themed party for their employees.

A lot of exposition around a broken condom and a possible pregnancy builds to one of the best endings of the entire series, as George repulses his girlfriend Cynthia with his slovenly eating habits.

Also, the woman playing Cynthia? A pre-Janice-from- Friends Maggie Wheeler, using her real voice. Answers: Probably not; definitely. And what happened to the briefcase with the secret recording device that George left in the room to find out? The answer to the second question is complicated.

The answer to the first is obvious. In which Puddy reveals himself to be the most fervent Devils fan possible, as captured by TV cameras.

George always wanted to name a child Seven. They probably both love Seinfeld. The montage of George pretending to be handicapped at Play Now! Plus: an early glimpse of Kramer-as- kavorka , as he romances a young librarian and nearly destroys her career. Eat it up, Georgie boy! Another is George showing off the glasses that gave the episode its name.

Moral of the story: Never hire a drunk rabbi to perform a bris. Children cursing: always funny! Well-intended, but ultimately, another ill-advised attempt to be a good person.

Also: the first appearance of Jackie Chiles!