Why flirting is wrong

Jenkins, author of Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It , writes that flirting is "exercising a portion of [your] brain and soul reserved for [your] exclusive lover" and is therefore "mental and emotional unfaithfulness. Rather, take a close look at your behaviour and direct a "come hither" look at your spouse to secure a VIP pass to your exclusive flirt fest. Read on to explore the line between crime and sublime of this provocative habit. Even your most innocent teasing is hardly harmless, especially not for the homemaker longing for attention or for the coworker who secretly struggles with lust.

Under these circumstances, an off-the-cuff punch line can sound an awful lot like a charged pick-up line. It has a lot of cautionary things to say about freelance "seductive speech" and "smooth talk" According to 1 Thessalonians , the onus falls on each individual to act above ambiguity: "Abstain from all appearance of evil" emphasis added.

A less obvious crime, but still destructive, is gushing over certain traits or strengths that a friend has, but your spouse lacks. This not only hurts your honey, but also makes you vulnerable to jealousy, lust and covetousness Matthew ; Exodus Until one night, Peter privately voiced an uncharacteristically sarcastic and obviously pained, "Have fun with your boyfriend tonight?

How did Ally respond? Rather than trying to change Peter, she changed her actions and her "type" to align with her lover.

Not surprisingly, her marriage became more flirtatious than ever! One change that Jenkins points out is the "new openness" between the sexes. So to protect you and your marriage, couple a healthy dose of fear and faithfulness with these six tips:. There are the thrill and passion that lures people to flirt. But that doesn't make it ok. Flirting with someone else while you're in a relationship can most definitely cause a negative effect on your intimacy.

The main reason for this is that the "fantasy" flirting you're engaging in might be so alluring and addictive that you expect the same level of passion with your partner. But life is life. There are responsibilities to attend, too, including kids, jobs, parent-teacher conferences, which can all put a fork in the spokes for what the fantasy illusion of the flirting has given you.

When you don't see your partner's same reaction as you did with the person you were flirting with, intimacy can be negatively affected. The most detrimental consequence is saved for last. Yes, flirting can most definitely destroy your relationship. It can deteriorate your relationship with your partner and can have long-lasting negative effects. With all of the reasons mentioned in this list, they can very well result in your relationship's annihilation.

It's simply not worth it to entertain flirting with others while you're in a relationship. If you're finding yourself flirting while in a relationship with someone else, it can't hurt to figure out if it's innocent talk or a deeper, more personal issue causing it. Having someone who understands confusing issues such as this and listening to you, and providing advice could be very beneficial. It's comforting to know that online counseling is available if you need help or have questions about flirting or relationships in general.

At ReGain, it's simple to connect with professional counselors who will work with you to figure out the next steps. Flirting with another person while you are in a relationship can indeed be walking a fine line, and for many, you might be wondering: is flirting cheating?

To determine whether flirting is cheating, you and your partner first have to decide on a definition of cheating. What does constitute cheating? For most people, cheating is any behavior in which you express romantic interest, either emotionally or physically. In general, flirting counts as cheating because it is a step above harmless banter and can develop into other romantic activities or relationships.

Are you getting your flirting tips from someone who is traditionally unfaithful? Or are your flirting tips generally defined by poor choices? Without the proper guidance, you will understandably wonder, "is flirting cheating? Flirting is cheating under any circumstance for most people unless you and your partner have mutually agreed that it's appropriate to pursue outside relationships or flirt with others.

Flirting with others is generally considered inappropriate while in a relationship. This area on the cheating scale can be confusing for some people to navigate, especially because different couples have different boundaries and expectations.

Flirting is cheating to many because cheating is any behavior in which you are pursuing a romantic relationship with another person, even if it's casual.

When an individual finds out a partner is cheating, it's almost always devastating. When engaging in flirting, both the brain and the body react to these cues, which ignites the dopamine. Summer and Jen, however, caution that flirting can become habitual and addicting, because it feels good to feel good. If you want to assess what you have been doing so far, here are some questions, which will help you become more aware of your behaviour, and how it may affect your significant other:.

Are you aware of your flirtatious behaviour? What are you seeking to gain by flirting? Could others misinterpret your flirting? You can also discuss whether or not you want to tell each other if you've flirted with other people. So, in short, it's OK to be friendly and maybe even a bit flirtatious if you draw clear boundaries and don't plan to take it further.

But it's best to discuss this with your partner rather than sneaking around their back. That way, perhaps you could even enjoy some flirtation and other monogamish activity together. By Suzannah Weiss.